Rev. Cheung concludes our current series on Restoring God’s Plan for the Family by answering the last three of Seven Questions on Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage.

Missed one of the earlier messages? You can still catch up with previous messages from this series.

by Rev. Jeremiah Cheung

The last three questions on Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage are:

Q.5: Should those who are unmarried get married?
Q.6: Should parents allow or stop their children from marrying?
Q.7: Can widows remarry?

Discussion Questions

1. Paul cited three reasons for saying that to remain single is better. What are these reasons? Do you agree?

2. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of marrying and not marrying?

3. As a parent, what are your expectations on the matter of your children’s marriage? What do you believe is better for them – to marry or not to marry?

4. Widows may remarry, but statistics indicate that the percentage of widowers (men who lost their wives) who remarry is very high, while most widows (women who lost their husbands) choose not to remarry. Why do you think this is the case? Can you give some advice to help widows or widowers as they face life after their loss?

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Many of us are busy fighting battles outside our homes. We expend time, energy, and emotions at our workplaces and businesses to secure a better future for our families. But if we’re not careful, we might fail to fight the more important battles happening right at our doorsteps.

David experienced this; while he was away, his loved ones were attacked and captured by the enemy (1 Samuel 30:1-20).

In this week’s message, Ptr. Genesis Tan shares David’s experience and shows us how, in his distress, David constantly sought God in prayer and tirelessly pursued the enemy. With God on his side, David was able to reclaim his family.

Message by Ptr. Genesis Tan

Discussion Questions

1. In what ways have you neglected your family? your spouse? and your children?

2. Have you been physically absent and/or emotionally disengaged with your spouse and children? Why? What can you do to change this situation?

3. In light of the message that you have heard, what specific action steps can you take to apply what you have learned? (Do this in the next 7 days; it should be specific, measurable and realistic.)

4. What makes it difficult for you to apply what you have learned from this message?
What steps can you take to try and overcome it?

5. For those with lifegroups, how can your lifegroup help you or encourage you in the specific area of your struggle?

6. To whom can you share what you have learned from this message? (Look for someone and share your learnings.)

Books and Media mentioned in this week’s message

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The second installment of the series entitled ‘Seven Questions on Divorce & Remarrying’ answers the following questions:

Q.3: “May divorced people remarry?”
Q.4: “Does our original identity change when we become Christians?”

Missed Part 1? Catch up here.

by Rev. Jeremiah Cheung

Discussion Questions

1. May those who had once been divorced remarry? Regarding this issue, Paul pointed out 3 different situations. The first situation is where both partners are Christians and Paul mentioned that there are two options, what are they?

2. According to the Word of God, Christians are not to divorce. But if they are already divorced and one party has already remarried, reconciliation is no longer possible. What do you think should be done?

3. If the unbeliever is not willing to divorce, the Christian spouse must not seek to divorce. If the unbeliever wants a divorce, the believer may let him/her go. After we become Christians, it may seem as if we are on the losing end because the response is not within our hands. Do you think this is reasonable? Why did God give such instructions?

4. After becoming a Christian, our identity does not change. Paul specifically used circumcision and slavery to explain this principle. How does this apply to marriage?

5. After becoming a Christian, our identity, work, human, racial, cultural relationships may continue as before if it has nothing to do with sin. But if our present situation (work, identity, etc.) involves sin, what are we to do as Christians? For example, if the business we are engaged in is related to idol-worshipping, should we continue the business? What is your opinion?

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The topics of Marriage, Divorce, and Remarrying have long been thorny issues from the time of the Apostle Paul until today. To address this, Paul wrote a full chapter which can be found in 1 Corinthians 7:1-40.

Rev. Cheung breaks this chapter into parts via seven questions, starting with:
Q.1: Is sex a spiritual matter?  
Q.2: May someone who had once been married re-marry?

by Rev. Jeremiah Cheung

Discussion Questions

1. Within marriage, sex is a spiritual and sacred matter. But why do many people think sex is dirty and shameful? What are the reasons why this is the case?

2. V.3 “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” What does ‘fulfilling one’s marital duty’ mean? How are the husband and wife to do this? Please share.

3. V.5 “Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” How do you think Satan can tempt us in this aspect?

4. Paul’s advice to those who had once been married is: freedom of choice – they may choose not to remarry or they may choose to remarry. What would be the advantage/s if a person chooses not to remarry? On the other hand, what do you think are the challenges he/she will encounter?

5. If someone chooses to remarry, what advice can you give him/her?

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Last week, we talked about how divorce is not lawful. Divorce was not an option from the very beginning when God created man and woman. However, the Pharisees — who were testing the authority of Jesus — posed another question: “Why then did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

Rev. Jeremiah Cheung continues to expound on the dialogue in Matthew 19:7-10 to help us uncover God’s will on divorce.

by Rev. Jeremiah Cheung

Discussion questions

1. The Pharisees used Deuteronomy 24:1-4 to justify divorce. But if we look at the scripture passage carefully, these four verses were actually conditions for remarriage rather than permission for divorce. From these four verses, please point out the conditions for remarrying.

2. The Pharisees used Deuteronomy 24:1 to justify divorce, saying that as along as a man can find something indecent with his wife he may divorce her. What is the real meaning of indecent? (Please refer to Deut 23:12-14) How did the Pharisees erroneously interpret the Bible? Why did they interpret the Bible in that way?

3. Jesus said: “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.” Why did Moses allow the Jews the option of divorce? If they were not allowed to divorce, what would be the result?

4. Jesus told the Jews, “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” This tells us that divorce is permissible when there is adultery. Why is this so?

5. Why is it that when a person marries someone who had committed adultery then he/she also commits adultery? If someone took part in another person’s sin, what advice can you give him/her?

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Divorce is a sensitive topic and a painful reality in today’s society. While the world has welcomed the concept of divorce, the Bible says, “What God has joined together, let no one separate.” How then, can we stand for the will of God?

As part of our series entitled Restoring God’s Plan for the Family, Rev. Jeremiah Cheung speaks about Jesus’ words and example as He answers the question, ‘Is it lawful to divorce?’

by Rev. Jeremiah Cheung

Discussion Questions

1. The Pharisees asked Jesus, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” Why is this question a test (a trick question)? Paul said, “Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.” What does this mean? When most of the world believes what is contrary to the truth, do you think you’d dare stand for the truth? Why do you say so?

2. How did Jesus handle the Pharisees’ attempt to test him? (Review how Jesus handled Satan’s temptation). Paul said we must put on the full armor of God. What item did Paul use to describe God’s Word? How deeply do you know God’s Word?

3. In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus quoted 3 verses from the Old Testament to explain that divorce is not God’s will. In verse 4: “Haven’t you read that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female?’” What did Jesus mean by quoting this verse?

4. In Matthew 19:5, we read “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This verse may be called God’s blueprint for marriage. This Bible verse shows us 3 principles for marriage. How many do you understand? Which ones have you followed or obeyed?

5. In Matthew 19:6, we read “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” This Bible verse tells us two more reasons why divorce is not God’s will; what are they? The Book of Malachi says God hates divorce. Do you understand the reason why God hates divorce?

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Rev. Cheung encourages the singles amongst us to avoid rushing into marriage for the sake of being married. Instead, seek God’s Kingdom and His righteousness first; everything else will follow in accordance with God’s plan and timing (Matt 6:33).

Discussion Questions

1. Proverbs 24:27 “Put your outdoor work in order and get your fields ready; after that, build your house.” From this Bible verse, what preparations do you think those who plan to get married must make? In present day situations, what kind of preparations would those be?

2. The Lord Jesus said, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Do you believe this? Regarding the matter of marriage (marrying), how do you appropriate God’s promise?

3. “The man must initiate and the woman must respond”. What do you think of this saying? Can you share realistic ways to apply this principle?

4. Is your standard for choosing a partner too high or too low? What is the appropriate standard?

5. In the matter of marriage, is having financial stability really that important? Can you give some reasons to support your answer?

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Rev. Jeremiah Cheung takes us through the Biblical principles that answer the question, Who May Get Married?

Discussion Questions

1. From the world’s viewpoint, when is a person ready for marriage? What kind of preparations does he/she need to make?

2. The Bible says believers are not to be yoked with unbelievers. Having the same faith is very important in marriage. Please share the pros and cons for a marriage when a couple has the same faith; how about when a couple does not have the same faith?

3. God said: “It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him.” ‘The man’ refers to a mature man. What is the difference between a mature man and an overgrown boy? And how is a mature woman different from an overgrown girl?

4. How does a person who has the Word of God differ from one who does not have the Word of God: in spirituality, in morality, in values, etc.?

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by Ptr. Genesis Tan

Verse: Exodus 15:22-27

To Heal Our Hurts, Let Us Cry Out to God and Obey the LORD Our Healer

• Honoring the LORD doesn’t guarantee a hurt-free life
• Hurting situations can either push us away or draw us closer to the LORD
• Hurting situations in our lives tests how much we trust the LORD.
• Healing our hurts comes from obeying the LORD’s Word: Choose to forgive

Reflection Questions

• In Exodus 15:22-27, how did the circumstances influence the people’s attitude toward God? Describe times in your own life when your circumstances have caused your attitude toward God to fluctuate.
• How did Moses react to the circumstances? What does his example teach about how we should respond to difficult circumstances?
• God tested the Israelites with adverse circumstances, thus uncovering what was in their hearts. Describe ways in which you have experienced God testing you. How did you respond?
• Who is a person in your life who has hurt you deeply and why? Have you forgiven this person? If not yet, why not? What makes it difficult for you to forgive?
• Who is someone in your life that you have offended and hurt badly? Have you asked forgiveness from this person? If not yet, why not? 
What makes it difficult for you to ask for forgiveness?
• After learning this story, what is God asking you to do now? How would you respond?

Prayer
Yahweh Rapha, LORD God our Healer, I bow before You today to acknowledge that You are not only my Creator but the LORD who heals me. You know my pain and hurts. Please heal me today, body, heart, soul and spirit, and do the same for my loved ones. I pray that You will heal me from the bitterness in my heart. Forgive me LORD for my grumblings when I am hurt instead of crying out to You for help. Help me to surrender to You in trust by forgiving the person (parents, spouse, others) who has hurt me the most. It is difficult for me to forgive but I am making this decision. Please empower me with Your Spirit. I choose to forgive as You have forgiven me. Bring people into my life who will journey with me towards the path of healing and reconciliation. Please transform my life together with my family in ways that glorify You. In Jesus Name, Amen.

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by Ptr. Allan Rillera

Verse. Ephesians 5:22-6:4

Introduction

A Christian home can be compared to an orchestra.

• an Orchestra is composed of different instruments working in unity and harmony
• Process: Takes time and hard work
• Attitude: Humility, mutual submission, and collaboration
• Must follow the conductor’s baton
• Result: Praise from viewers

How do we create harmony and have a Christian home? 3 Godly Principles will help.

Principle #1. Be A Submissive Wife

• Background of wife: Abused, hurt, forced to serve (Roman Period)
• Marital Problem: Battle for control (submission is important for the husband)
• Manner of Submission: Submit in the same way you submit to Christ/how the church submits to Christ (Treat your husband like a king)
• Reason: God ordained man to be the head

Principle #2. Be A Loving Husband

• Background of husband: Strong/Dominant leadership (Roman Period)
• Marital Problem: Unloving husband – stony/icy Heart. (Expressed love is important for the wife)
• Manner of Loving: As Christ loves the Church: sacrificially, purifying, caring

Principle #3. Be Obedient Children

• Background of children: Fear and rebellion
• Significance of Obedience
• Father’s discipline and instruction

Conclusion

• A Christian home is difficult to achieve.
• A Christian home doesn’t happen by accident. We need to be intentional. We need to know, we need to practice, and persevere to make our home a Christian Home.
• Submit, Love, and Obey through the Power of the Holy Spirit. We cannot do it on our own strength; we need to be empowered by the Holy Spirit. The secret of harmony in the home is the fullness of the Spirit.
• Spiritual Battle requires the full Armor of God (Eph. 6:10-17)

Discussion Questions

1. What is the greatest spiritual challenge in your marriage?
2. Describe some of your differences with your mate and children. How do you handle these differences? How can it have a positive influence in your family?
3. What are some areas that you feel you have been failing in personally as a spouse or as a parent? How are you handling this failure?

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